Thoughts of Obama from Bama

Week Twenty-Four: Back in the USSR!

Oh, come on, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm back in the USSR
You don't know how lucky you are, boys Back in the USSR
The Beatles

Our 44th President made a pilgrimage home this week to his beloved Moscow. Maybe not to his literal birthplace (But still a viable possibility since he has yet to produce a valid Birth Certificate) but certainly his sentimental and philosophical homeland. In a state of wide eyed awe, so much so it even diverted attention from his legendary ears, President Obama reveled about just as happy as if he had good sense in the Mecca of worldwide communism.

In the land of his childhood heroes and political soul mates and idols, including the likes of such humanitarians Lenin; Stalin; Khrushchev; and Brezhnev, President Obama continued his global Blame America First, appeasement and apology foreign policy tour. Following the lead of his foreign policy mentor, Jimmy “Peanut” Carter, the most powerful man in the free world folded like a cheap lawn chair when meeting with Russian President Dmitry Medvedev and Prime Minister Vladimir Putin.

Continuing a pattern of truly troubling behavior seen far too often during this President’s short time in office, Mr. Obama failed once again to defend America’s honor and promote our values while conducting his pacifist style of diplomacy with his Russian comrades. Bowing to Saudi Royalty; grinning like a possum while accepting an anti-American book/propaganda from Venezuela’s fascist leader Chavez; at the same Summit of the America’s sitting quietly and dutifully through an hour long hate America diatribe by Nicaraguan leftist, socialist dictator Daniel Ortega; waiting ten days before forcefully speaking out in support of the protesters and condemning the fanatic Islamic Iranian government who were murdering their own innocent citizens in the streets of Tehran; and his most recent act of “Peanut” style diplomacy giving away the proverbial farm and allowing the Russian Head of State to take the Commander-in-Chief of the United States of America to task for over an hour with his warped views of the Cold War and continued Soviet world dominance.

Hell bent on reaching at least one substantive agreement with his Ruskie counterparts our fearless leader repeated thank you sir may I have another as he bent over and grabbed his ankles while agreeing to Russian proposals diametrically opposed to American interest. Touting a nuclear arms reduction agreement as a major breakthrough a closer look reveals just how badly Mr. Obama got snookered by his newest and bestest friend Russian President Dmitry Medvedev.

Mr. Harvard Law superior intellect hisself agreed to the following:

1. Reduction of nuclear warhead arsenals by approximately half leaving 1,500 – 1,800 weapons. The barb here is even by reducing to 100 warheads both sides still have the capability to destroy the planet ten times over. Once both countries exceed the point of diminishing returns arbitrary reductions are meaningless.
2. The US currently holds a 2 to 3 - 1 advantage in nuclear delivery systems – missiles, aircraft, subs, etc. The new agreement calls for parity which President Obama agreed to without any concessions from his good friend President Dmitry. A loss of a significant strategic advantage probably motivated by a backhanded excuse to further decimate our US Defense budget.
3. Opened door to the possibility of reducing our missile defense capabilities reversing the position of the last four Administrations. Any movement in this direction would seemingly greatly compromise our national security interest. It is hard to imagine any Russian concession that would justify this dangerous and irresponsible change in policy.
4. The President’s Russian comrades refused to budge on their continued support of Iran’s nuclear program.
5. A Russian halt to further interference with developing democracies in Eastern Europe was met with a chorus of Nyet! Nyet! Nyet!
6. After hours of grueling hardnosed negotiations our great orator and master of Rhetoric-in-Chief extracted an agreement allowing our military to use Russian air space to access Afghanistan. Touting the $120 million in savings that would be realized the prevailing pacifist mindset of this Administration was apparent with their failure to emphasize the tactical military advantage gained.
7. The Ruskies also agreed to lift an embargo on US beef. Too bad the President’s Energy Reform / Cap & Tax bill will bankrupt the US beef industry before they can take advantage of this opportunity.
8. As a token of their gratitude, appreciation and esteem (essentially their break out the vodka and caviar state of euphoria) over President Obama’s caving in on a every issue they presented him with an autographed original manuscript of Marx’s “Communist Manifesto”, a first edition of Stalin’s “One Minute Communist / Dictator Manager“and a signed copy of Khrushchev’s “Who Stole My Bolshevik Cheese”. The President was said to be so overwhelmed with joy he broke into a frantic Cossack dance that would put the King of Pop, Michael “The Gloved One” Jackson, to shame.

Day two of this diplomatic train wreck found our good President voluntarily taking a stroll to the woodshed to endure an hour long tongue lashing from Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. In response to the PM’s ranting and ravings about Russia’s actual victory in the Cold War and current unchallenged superpower status President Obama remarked, “You are so right Vlady”, “Couldn’t agree with you more Vlady”, “Of course, whatever you say Vlady”.

Former KGB official and current Prime Minister Putin spent the rest of his session with Mr. Obama providing his young protégé with advice on successfully completing the government takeover of the US financial, energy, auto, and healthcare industries. They agreed to discuss agriculture, manufacturing, tobacco and the entertainment industries at their next get together. President Obama having a soft spot in his heart for tobacco products and Putin’s obsession with the band ABBA (Strange but true) driving this decision.

With a sack full of Commie mementos, pats on the back and a big ata boy from comrades Putin and Medvedev President Obama is off to a G8 Summit in Italy for some more “Peanut” diplomacy. The perfect way to top off a week after visiting the Motherland and conversing with his comrades and political soul mates “Back in the USSR”.

I am, “American by Birth and Southern by the Grace of God”
Ron W. Garikes