Thoughts of Obama From Bama

Week Thirty - One: “Obamas Schizophrenic Politicus”

“Wasting' away again in MargaretvilleSearching for my lost shaker of saltSome people claim that there's a woman to blameAnd I know, it’s somebody else’s damn fault” Margaretville”

Jimmy Buffett

Our 44th President, Barrack Hussein Obama, is inflicted with a bad case of the “Obamas Schizophrenic Politicus” (OSP). A malady prevalent amongst far left wing, Socialist, Fascist, narcissist, extremist; network news anchors; the main stream media elite; vodka drinking, caviar munching, Communists; and the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Barney “Freddie in the Fanny Mac” Frank, Michael “Krispey Cream” Moore, Janeane “Head Case Extraordinaire” Garofalo, and Rosie “Krispey Cream ll ” O’Donnell. All of whom deserve special mention because of their incredibly boneheaded anti-American views, actions and seemingly never ending asinine rhetoric.

Symptoms of the “OSP” go way beyond the blame your opponents, straw or boogie man politics as usual. This serious psychological condition is more accurately described as the blame game on steroids combined with a level of paranoid schizophrenia that can only be brought on by years of pot smoking, cocaine snorting, acid dropping narcotics abuse and endless hours of grueling indoctrination (brainwashing) in Communist/Socialist youth camps. Activities our “OSP” inflicted Paranoid-in-Chief, his comrades in the Administration, Congress, and the liberal leftwing media elite all have such fond memories of from their younger, formative, teenage and mostly “underground” college days.

Instead of actually advocating and promoting one of their new program initiatives on its own merits the “Change We Can Believe In” crowd seems to be almost manic in their need to not only blame but destroy and demonize any that oppose their positions. A sure fire symptom of the (OSP) and a frequently utilized political tactic to support a new policy that can’t stand on its own merit because it lacks any basis in the Constitution, common sense, and/or is totally void of any fiscal restraint or responsibility.

“We believe that to err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics.” Hubert H. Humphrey

Each and every one of the Obama Administration’s new humungous government, Socialist Nanny State policy initiatives, so called reforms and political appointments have all been promoted by (OSP) crazed fanatics who are trained professionals in the black arts of character assassination; diversion, delay and deceit; extortion; bribery; and blackmail. These wild eyed rabid Obama political hacks infesting the West Wing and government office buildings throughout the Capital District are hell bent on destroying any that dare oppose our Supreme Commander and his Communal Utopian Fantasies.

Following is a brief review of every major Obama Administration Policy Initiative, Proposed Legislation and New “Reform” Program to date including the negative consequences that frequently occur when folks mentally incapacitated with a bad case of the (OSP) are leading the effort:

· TARP – Troubled Asset Recovery Program: Initiated by the Obama Administration’s epidomy of the evil, incompetent, corrupt public servant; a lying, cheaten, scoundrel; an illegitimate President who “stole” the last two elections; the cause of every worldwide calamity of an economic, military, social, political, religious, scientific, natural, or manmade nature occurring over the last eight years; the 43rd President of these here United States, George W. Bush.

Thoughts of Obama From Bama sources inform us that according to Lexis Nexus President Obama and his spin doctors have used the phrase “We inherited” over 300,000 times since taking office 31 weeks ago. That’s an average of almost 1,400 times a day, truly remarkable.

Maybe the only successful Government bailout, TARP has proven instrumental in keeping the Banking/Financial industry open for business. Credit, although tight, is available, money is flowing and a major disaster has been avoided. Many institutions are even paying Uncle Sammy back, with interest.

On other hand, President Obama and his Socialist comrades have lived up to their Mission Statement to take advantage of every crisis and started the process of imposing Government control on the Country’s financial industry. New measures include oppressive regulations, social engineering, stock ownership, Board membership and dictating Executive compensation to private sector companies. All blatant; unconstitutional; tyrannical; illegal; audacious abuses of Government authority already spreading like kudzu to other segments of the economy.

Wall Street Execs were thoroughly trashed and publicly flogged by their own Government, some deservingly so, but most just trying to make a buck for themselves, employees and stockholders. Demonized by (OSP) infected Obamanites to the point of receiving death threats, these Execs were the scapegoats blamed for causing this financial crisis and massive Government expenditure.

Interesting that our fiends Barney Frank, Chair of the House Finance Committee, and Chris Dodd, Chair of the Senate Banking Committee, were spared of Administration condemnation for their unforgivable incompetence and heavy handed intervention promoting Socialist Public Policy initiatives that greatly contributed to this financial train wreck.

· Hostile Take Over of US Auto Industry: Another Crisis, another opportunity for the Fed to swoop in and take control of a big chunk of the US economy. (OSP) ravaged members of Congress took the Auto Execs to the proverbial woodshed and rendered a public spanking not so much for bad management but for flying in on corporate jets for the hearings. Audacious hypocrisy even by Washington standards considering congress’ access to a fleet of government jets and the Presidents’ ultimate of “corporate” jets, Air force One. All provided at taxpayer expense, of course.

Along with Auto Execs W was also the recipient of criticism and blame for the auto industry’s demise charging him with nefarious ties with the evil oil companies. Nothing like beating a dead horse.

· American Recovery and Reinvestment Act – Stimulus Bill – Obama ACORN, Unions, Payback Palooza Bill: Hailed as a necessary shorterm, targeted, and temporary remedy for the ailing economy in actuality a 1 Trillion dollar plus colossal waste of taxpayer’s money. Vilifying the GOP as unpatriotic, obstructionist, Neanderthals for their fierce opposition supporters of the measure suffering from the (OSP) viciously attacked any and all detractors.

W also singled out again for unilaterally and intentionally plunging the Country into the deepest financial downturn since the Great Depression compelling his successor, the Mighty and Benevolent Obama, to pursue such drastic measures.

· Waxman-Markey Energy-Cap and Trade-Cap and Tax Bill: Possibly the largest hidden tax and most intrusive piece of legislation ever passed by the US House of Representatives. Identifying Big Oil and other domestic energy companies as the “Great Satan” the mad with fever from the (OSP) Obama disciples accused these groups of purposely and systematically killing the planet; melting the polar icecaps; burning down the Amazonian rainforest; and clubbing baby seals to death.

For good measure, W again accused of responsibility for single handily destroying Mother Earth and kicking the can down the street to the planet’s savior, Mr. “Green Energy; bark eating; tree hugging; guardian of the environment;” Obama to clean up the mess.

· Healthcare-Health Insurance Reform-Government Controlled Socialized Medicine: Another massive, illegal, unconstitutional Government attempt to seize control of a large sector of the Nation’s economy. A policy that truly reeks of the long arm of “Big Brother” violating our personal and civil liberties.

(OSP) inflicted followers of our Healer-in-Chief are currently blaming the Health Insurance Companies for what they claim is a broken and dysfunctional US Healthcare System. They would have us believe these greedy, profit driven, heartless companies are pure evil incarnate responsible for the death of millions of our fellow citizens.

No doubt the Health Insurance industry is way overdue for some serious reform but a Public Option, the code phrase for a Government run single payer option being shoved stealthy down our throats by the President and his fellow socialist, ain’t the cure for what ails us either.

No word yet from our Whiner-in-Chief claiming he inherited the alleged Healthcare crisis from his predecessor too but you can bet dollar to doughnuts the (OSP) infected Obama faithful will surely lay this one at W’s door step before all is said and done.

“The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.” Robert Bloch

Thoughts of Obama From Bama certainly extends our best wishes to the Obamas for a safe and restful holiday this week in the liberal vacation Mecca, Martha’s Vineyard. We further hope the healing powers of warm ocean breezes, sand and salt cures our fearless leader of his bad case of the “Obamas Schizophrenic Politicus”. If not, no problem, to paraphrase Mr. Buffett:

“Some people claim that there's a woman to blame And we know, it’s all W’s damn fault”

I am, “American by Birth and Southern by the Grace of God”

Ron W. Garikes

Thoughts of Obama from Bama

Week Thirty: Smash Mouth Politics

Pete Venkman (Bill Murray): “The Mayor! He's a friend of mine. Lenny”!

Hardemeyer (Mayor’s Assistant): “Can I help you?”

Venkman: “Yeah, you can get your hand off my chest.”

Hardemeyer: “I'm Jack Hardemeyer. I'm the mayor's assistant. What can I do for you? Look, you stay away from the mayor. Next fall, barring a disaster, he's going to be elected governor of this state and the last thing we need is for him to be associated with two-bit frauds and publicity hounds like you and your friends. You read me?”

Venkman: “Wait a minute, I’m a voter, aren’t you suppose to kiss my ass and lie to me or something?” Ghost Busters II

President Obama, his comrades in Congress and socialist political allies around the country including his friends in the treasonous adoring media elite press have gone on the offensive and viciously attacked a highly unlikely demographic group and constituency, “We the People”. The “Yes We Can” and “Change We Can Believe In” crowd is losing the national debate on their flagship Socialist public policy initiative, Government Controlled/Socialized Medicine, and have fallen into full panic mode of operation and initiated an unprecedented political attack on the American people.

Dealing from a position of weakness for the first time as support for the Presidents Healthcare Reform proposals have plummeted in public opinion polls President Obama has directed his chief political hacks, White House Chief of Staff Rahm “The Enforcer” Emanuel and Senior Political Advisor David “Mr. Happy” Axelrod to leave no arm untwisted; no legs unbroken; no Associations unextorted; no wavering “blue dog” democratic congressperson unblackmailed; no healthcare executive unbribed; no attention paid to warnings of financial disaster and exploding deficits from the CBO and Obama supporter and advisor, the Orator from Omaha hisself, Warren Buffett; and no attention given to warnings of fins to the right, fins to the left, tidal waves out on the sea and lost shakers of salt from singer/songwriter/poet from Key West, Jimmy Buffett.

Going to the mattresses in an effort to save his dream of taking control of another major sector of the US economy, the President has directed his mostly bought off constituents and actual true believers who still worship at the “Alter of Obama” supporters to play the race card with reckless abandon with total disregard for the truth, a typical liberal political tactic; incite the so called victim class to make totally unfounded charges of unfair treatment; unleash the thugs from ACORN and the Unions to enforce strong arm tactics at Town hall meetings and other political functions; Order admirers and fellow conspirators in his adoring press corps the likes of Chris “shivers up my leg” Mathews”, Katie “he’s our generation’s Thomas Jefferson” Kuric and Keith “I have a man crush on the Dude” Olberman; and most frightening of all, send Barney “Freddie in the Fannie Mac” Frank on a support ObamaCare tour to all the truly strange and bizarre fringe leftwing groups in this country that always seem to welcome Congressman Frank with open arms.

Thoughts of Obama from Bama is unaware of any previous sitting President or candidate who has ever used an “attack the folks” strategy when seeking office or in support of a policy initiative. To our credit, Americans don’t usually take a shinning to name calling, strong-arm, political guerilla tactics that are so prevalent in Central and South American Banana Republics ruled by Obama political soul mates and comrades Hugo Chavez, Daniel Ortega and Fidel Castro.

Americans have historically responded much more favorably to positive messages. We are by nature an optimistic country, with a healthy skepticism of Government, but hopeful just the same. Some of our greatest leaders have inspired us to take action, to rally around an issue or idea and passionately support a political philosophy with powerful, persuasive, and eloquent rhetoric and messages of hope and promise. “Yes We Can” and “Change We Can Believe In” are two very recent examples (regardless as hollow as they ring now) of an effective positive political message.

Positive, memorable, inspirational, political messages historically used in this country to advocate a policy initiative or candidate include:

· George Washington: "Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth."
· Thomas Jefferson: "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves."
· Abe Lincoln: "Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?"
· Teddy Roosevelt: “Speak softly and carry a big stick."
· FDR: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
· Herbert Hoover: “A chicken in every pot and a car in every garage”
· James Cox: “Cox and Cocktails (Harding's opponent James Cox was opposed to Prohibition).”
· JFK “The American, by nature, is optimistic. He is experimental, an inventor and a builder who builds best when called upon to build greatly."
· Ronald Reagan:

” It’s morning again in America”
· Ronald Reagan: “America is too great for small dreams”
· Bush 1: "If anyone tells you that America's best days are behind her, they're looking the wrong way”
· W: “Leave no child behind”

Great examples of uplifting, positive, inspirational, political speech effectively used by many of our current President’s predecessors. “Cox for Cocktails”, definitely the kind of man we need more of in office today. In comparison, our current Commander-in-Chief has recently had this to say about and too his fellow Americans who oppose his Socialized Medicine and other Fascist Reforms:

· He doesn’t want to hear from the folks who he credits with “creating the mess” in health care – GOP and the Health Insurance industry
· Anyone opposed to his reforms is in favor of the status quo and don’t care that thousands are dying
· All opposed are either uninformed or supported by GOP or Health Insurance
· Protestors are nothing but organized mobs
· Dissent nothing but GOP talking points
· Protestors are paid political operatives

His comrades in Congress, with his blessings, have been more expressive:

· Un-American
· Brown shirted Swastika carrying thugs
· A well-dressed and well-rehearsed mob.
· Astroturf, as opposed to home grown, now them is surely fighten words!

A lot of this sounds like “déjà vu all over again”. We all remember candidate Obama’s comments about the good people of Pennsylvania during the campaign: "And it's not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.”

Our President’s disdain, contempt and hubris towards “We the People” are unprecedented, elitist and dangerous. As for Thoughts of Obama from Bama, instead of all the name calling and false accusations, we agree with the amiable Dr. Venkman’s political philosophy: “ Barack, I’m a voter, aren’t you suppose to kiss my ass and lie to me or something?”

I am, “American by Birth and Southern by the Grace of God”

Ron W. Garikes

Thoughts of Obama from Bama

Week Twenty-Nine: The New American Revolutionary

Come senators, congressmen, Please heed the call
Don’t stand in the doorway, Don’t block up the hall
For he that gets hurt, Will be he who has stalled
There’s a battle outside, And it is ragin.
It’ll soon shake your windows, And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin.

Bob Dylan

_

“Marge, how about handing me that Molotov Cocktail, I want to throw it at Senator Big Government, Deficit Shattering, Socialized Medicine, over there.” “All right George, but if you throw out your back again or aggravate that bursitis, I’m gonna ring your neck.” “ Whatever Marge, just give it to me quick, he’s about a half sand wedge away and if I toss it now I can catch him right between the eyes.” “Alright dear, but put on your gasmask first before those nice riot policeman over there fire another round of teargas at us”

_

The face of the radical; anti-war; anti-meat consuming; anti-lumber industry; anti-nuclear; save the whales; save the dolphins; save the planet; gay rights; flag burning; folk song singing; American protestor no longer looks like the fringe elements of society. Today’s American Revolutionary has a much closer resemblance to the Jones’ who live down on the corner lot of the new subdivision.

_

God fearing; gun owning; bowling leaguers; Canasta playing; veterans; retirees; golfers; plumbers; doctors; IT nerds; school teachers; small business owners; and corporate hot shots. All who have finally started to wake up, hopefully in time to stop the madness, and realized there is a bloodless Socialist coup currently underway in our nation’s capital, led by the man who took an oath to uphold and protect the Constitution, Barack Husain Obama.

_

Our friends in the leftwing, liberal, media elite are clueless how to deal with this new breed of Revolutionary. To paraphrase Dolly Parton they don’t know whether to scratch their watch or wind their butt. The sympathetic reporting and positive coverage they shower upon low life radical protestors the likes of Bill Ayers, Underground Weatherman, domestic terrorist and Obama political soul mate; Ward Churchill, blame America for 9/11 zealot and 60’s throwback nutcase; the charming and lovely extremist anti-war ladies of Code Pink; long haired, bandana wearing, tied dyed clad, 60’s wannabe, anti - global trade fanatics; and ACORN doesn’t seem to be forthcoming for the new American Revolutionary.

_

Grassroots inspired Tea Parties, recently attended by hundreds of thousands of new American Revolutionaries, were written off by the pinheaded media elite and liberal politicians as staged political events sponsored by FOX News and conservative Talk Radio. Granted, most of the good folks attending these events lean so far to the right they make Limbaugh and Hannity look like moderates, the insults heaped upon these mostly honest, hardworking, patriotic Americans by the so called unbiased press corps was truly astonishing.

_

That being said, racist, redneck, “tea bagging” yahoos seems like polite constructive criticism compared to the views they are now expressing about anyone who dares to question or oppose the mighty Obama’s Socialist, freedom threatening, government controlled healthcare reform plan. New American Revolutionaries like the afore mentioned George and Marge from Nashville, Tennessee; Bob and Joan Waters, an accountant and marketing executive from Baltimore, Maryland; Jason and Cathy Perry, small business owners from Reno, Nevada; and Jim and Carol Anderson from the proverbial “What would they think in Peoria?” are showing up by the thousands at Healthcare town hall meetings currently being conducted across the country by the President, his Cabinet Secretaries and comrades in the Congress.

_

The vicious attacks on these patriots by the mainstream media elite is not only alarming, but also dangerous, especially when considering the press’ tried and true traditional role of keeping a skeptical watch on the Government on behalf of “We the People”. Accusations of paid political hacks with GOP talking points; brown shirted thugs; rightwing extremist using Nazi tactics are clogging up the airwaves, blogosphere and print media. Unfounded charges based on nothing else than an unprecedented liberal bias and unabashed adoration for our Socialist-in-Chief.

_

A recent example of this totally irresponsible lame excuse for journalism took place on MSNBC’s political leftwing farce of a news show “Hardball” earlier this week. Chris Mathews, the programs ultra liberal host who admits openly and without shame to feeling shivers run up his leg when just thinking about the President, had the following conversation with the Atlanta Journal Constitution’s lead Communist and “Victims Are Us” reporter, Cynthia Tucker:

_

CHRIS MATTHEWS: “Put 100 of these people in a room. Strap them into gurneys. Inject them with sodium pentathol. How many of them would say "I don't like the idea of having a black president"? What percentage?”
CYNTHIA TUCKER: “Oh, I'm just guessing. This is just off the cuff. I think 45 to 65% of the people who appear at these groups are people who will never be comfortable with the idea of a black president.”

_

Just off the cuff Ms. Tucker, considering Mr. Mathew’s idiotic question and your pull it out of thin air, totally unfounded, asinine response, Thoughts of Obama from Bama would suggest the two of you are race baiting, boneheaded, morons pathetically attempting to salvage plummeting ratings and circulation.

_

Worse, our elected public officials, starting with the President of the United States, Congressional leaders and other senior policy makers, have also viciously attacked anyone with the audacity to voice opposition to Mr. Obama’s Socialist Communal Utopian dreams for our great nation. The President and the White House propaganda machine have accused the opposition as fear mongering, evil special interest, angry mobs backed and financed by the GOP and an unnamed (FOX) cable news network.

_

They have also blamed Rush, the “vast rightwing conspiracy” and W (can’t let a day go by without blaming W for something) as hate merchants who are polarizing the debate with their distortions and lies. The White House has even asked supporters to send them “fishy” emails expressing opposing views to the President’s Government run Healthcare proposals. This strong-arm tactic certainly has a familiar ring. Presidents Nixon and Clinton both assembled White House enemies list. The former was run out of office early and the latter impeached. Mr. Obama’s conduct in office to date certainly may result in a similar fate.

_

Madame Speaker of the House Pelosi along with House Majority Leader, Steny Hoyer, in a Editorial published this week in USA Today, referred to the new American Revolutionaries voicing truth to power at the Healthcare town halls as Un-American. The Speaker has also called these patriots swastika carrying, brown shirted thugs who use Nazi tactics to disrupt the democratic process. With all due respect Madame Speaker, you wouldn’t recognize a democratic process if it reached up and bit you on the arse. As for Nazi tactics, rumor has it ex-Pelosi staffers claim she insisted on being called little Adolf at the office and took a hankering to sporting a small fake black mustache when out of public view.

_
“Every generation needs a new revolution.” Thomas Jefferson
_
Today’s new American Revolutionaries, folks like George, Marge, Bob, Joan, Jason, Cathy, Perry, Jim, Carol and thousands of others of similar mind probably have more in common with the original American Revolutionaries, our Founding Fathers, than any other rebel rousing, world changing protestors that mark the political evolution of our great nation. Like the founders, for the most part, our new Revolutionaries are well educated; hard working; prosperous; God fearing; church going; family oriented; well informed; patriots with a passion for freedom and disdain for tyranny.

President Obama’s radical Socialist agenda, including his Healthcare Reform proposals that include illegal and unconstitutional provisions as listed below, should bring out the American Revolutionary deep inside of all of us:

HR 3200

· Page 22: Mandates that the Govt will audit books of all employers that self insure!!
· Page 30 Sec 123: - THERE WILL BE A GOVT COMMITTEE that decides what treatments/benefits you get
· Page 29 lines 4-16: YOUR HEALTH CARE IS RATIONED!!!
· Page 42l: The Health Choices Commissioner will choose your HC Benefits for you. You have no choice!
· Page 50 Section 152: HC will be provided to ALL non-US citizens, illegal or otherwise.
· Page 58: Govt will have real-time access to individual finances & a National ID Health card will be issued!
· Page 59 lines 21-24: Govt will have direct access to your bank accounts for elective funds transfer.

We should all support and consider joining our fellow citizens/Revolutionaries who couragesly are leading the fight against President Obama’s Government controlled, Socialized medicine, Healthcare reform proposals. All those opposed should be placed on our enemies list, shipped off to Canada and subjected to all the benefits of rationed, endless waiting list, Government run Socialized medicine.

_
“George, that was the last of the Molotov Cocktails, there’s no more decaf in the thermos and my bunions are killing me, can we please go”. “OK Marge, one more chorus of “Reform this, Obama” and we are out of here,”

I am, “American by Birth and Southern by the Grace of God”

Ron W. Garikes

Thoughts of Obama from Bama

Week Twenty-Eight: Vacation

“I found out long ago, it’s a long way down the holiday road
Holiday rooooooaaaaad, Holiday roooooaaaad.
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Take a ride on the West Coast kick
Holiday rooooooaaaaad, Holiday road.”
L. Buckingham

Our 44th President and Congress are all already on their way or making final plans for a well deserved, long overdue, summer vacation. Spending trillions of dollars; Doubling the annual deficit; Borrowing trillions from China; Socializing the healthcare, financial, energy, and auto industries; Fighting 2 Overseas Contingency Operations; Playing the victim card, blaming W. and misleading “We the People” on a daily basis; and thinking about new, innovate and stealth strategies for increasing taxes tends to wear your typical dedicated public servant plumb out.

According to the official 2009 Schedule of the 111th Congress the House takes off on their “District Work Period” August 1st, the Senate August 8th, and both will reconvene back in DC on September 8th. “District Work Period”, another silly misnomer created by the same creative geniuses who gave us “Overseas Contingency Operation” for the War on Terror and “Man Made Disaster” for domestic terrorism , is just another misleading phrase the “Change Gang” made up for summer vacation in their ceaseless efforts to confuse, confound and divert our attention from their real agenda. Establishing a Socialist Nanny State – Creating a Secular Progressive Culture – Conducting the largest redistribution of wealth in world history.

Actually, summer vacation doesn’t exactly accurately describe the activities many of our elected officials will be partaking in either during the August recess. Many will travel abroad on overseas junkets to assure the Eiffel tower hasn’t fallen in Paris, confirm the Parthenon is still standing in Greece and make sure Italy hasn’t run dry on wine, all at US taxpayer expense, of course.

Other dedicated lawmakers will participate in “Fact Finding Tours” at some of the ritziest beach and mountain resorts, golf courses, and fishing spots in the world hosted by lobbyist and various special interest groups. Senator Barbara Boxer of California is the only lawmaker we know of who is completely excluded from these trips as even lobbyists find her too obnoxious to spend more than 5 minutes with.
a
A tiny percentage of Congressional members actually serve the public interest and meet with constituents during the recess but Thoughts of Obama from Bama was unable to obtain a final headcount. Inside sources assure us the total number of these dedicated legislators can be counted on one hand.

We were able to confirm that a large group of legislatures also take advantage of their summer break to meet with their parole officers; defense attorneys; attend DUI School; and/or serve out their community service and jail time. Thoughts of Obama from Bama certainly appreciates the personal efforts by all of these lawmakers to provide a stimulus for the entertainment, drug, alcohol, legal and prison industries.

Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase): “I'm just trying to treat my family to a little fun.” Ellen Griswold (Beverly D'Angelo): “Oh spare me, Clark, I know your brand of family fun. Tomorrow you'll probably kill the desk clerk, hold up a McDonalds, and drive us 1000 miles out of the way to see the world's largest pile of mud.” “Vacation” 1983

In the spirit of the public’s right to know, Thoughts of Obama from Bama is pleased to reveal the “District Work Period”, summer vacation plans, for several of our political leaders who are working so diligently on our behalf in our nation’s capital:

· The First Family – Barack and fam including First Pooch Bolshevik the Waterdog, according to recent reports, will be spending 2 star studded weeks in the playground of the liberal/socialist rich and famous celebrity elite, Martha’s Vineyard. Prerequisites for their Shangri-La vacation home include a private pool; basketball court; teleprompter; designated smoking area; TV studio for national daily broadcast; and accommodations for an entourage of 2,000, all at tax payer expense, of course.

Planned activities include happy hour every afternoon with the most recent private citizen the President has falsely accused of racism, public readings from the Communist Manifesto and a dress as your favorite nekked Socialist/Fascist Dictator Masquerade Ball.

First Pooch Bolshevik the Waterdog is scheduled for Frisbee lessons. The ultimate Socialist sport founded on the maxim “Hey man, nobody wins and nobody loses”.

Ellen Griswold: “Oh are you happy now Clark? She's deaf.”
Clark Griswold: “Oh what the hell - it was fun anyway.”

· Vice President “Uncle Joe” Biden – Uncle Joe will be spending his vacation recuperating from major surgery. Inflicted with a chronic case of the Foot-in- Mouth Disease, surgeons will attempt to remove a foot that has been inserted so frequently in the Veep’s mouth the prognosis for a successful operation is less than 10%. To enhance Uncle Joe’s recovery the President has left standing orders restricting him from coming within 1,000 yards of a member of the press, TV cameras or a live microphone.

· White House Chief of Staff, Rahm “The Enforcer” Emanuel – Plans call for attendance at an Organized Crime, Mafia, Cosonotra, film festival sponsored by the Italian Government in Palermo, Sicily. The focus of this year’s program is “Advanced Tactics for Intimidating colleagues, staff, political friends and foes. Sessions include “Pros and Cons of the Horse Head in Bed Strategy”; “What’s More Effective? Chopping off or Breaking Fingers”; and “The Best Time to Go to the Mattresses”.

Thoughts of Obama from Bama would never advance unfounded conspiracy theories. However, 3 recent seemingly random unrelated “accidents” suggests a far more sinister scenario. In fact, many claim these acts of intimidation are classic strong arm tactics of the “Enforcer”.

Hillary’s broken arm helps maintain her global victim status and serves as a reminder not to stray too far off the reservation regarding the President’s foreign policy positions. Judge Sotomayor broken leg helps establish her victim status, a possible sympathy vote and a stern warning to keep her judicial activist views to herself during the confirmation hearings. Congressperson Mikulski’s broken ankle, “accident”, was probably just a shot across the bow warning her and other members of the Democratic caucas what might happen to them if they jump ship on the Presidents humongous government and Socialist agenda.

· Secretary of State, Hillary “World Renown Ducker From Sniper Fire” Clinton – Will spend a majority of her vacation in serious negotiations with publishers and for the movie rights for her next book, "Sisterhood of the Butt Ugly Traveling Pants Suit."

· Attorney General Eric “Terrorist Sympathizer and Pardoner of Tax Cheats” Holder – After several visits the AG has fallen in love with the tropical paradise at Gitmo. The AG is said to be looking forward to long walks on the beach with enemy combatant prisoners, watching romantic tropical sunsets from the guard towers surrounding the prison and attending evening bonfires where American flags and W are burned in effigy every night. The AG will also be hopping over to Havana every day for private tutoring from Mr. Socialist Revolutionary hiself, Fidel castro, to discuss strategies for setting up a secret police force back here in the states.

Marty Moose: “Sorry, folks! We're closed for two weeks to clean and repair America's favorite family fun park. Sorry, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!”

· Secretary of Treasury, Timothy “Turbo Tax Cheat” Geithner – Will be attending The First Annual Obama Administration Camp for Tax Cheats (FAOACTC). Fellow senior Administration officials joining Little Timmy Tax Cheater include tax cheat Tom Daschle; tax cheat and Chief White House Performance Officer, Nancy Killefer; HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius on behalf of her tax cheat husband; and Congressional tax cheats New York congressman Charlie Rangle and Senator Chris Dodd from Connecticut. Marc Rich, on the FBI’s Most Wanted List and considered the biggest tax cheat in the history of the Union, will be the Course Instructor. Mr. Rich received a pardon from Slick Willie with the blessing of then assistant AG, Eric Holder.

· Madame Speaker of the House, Nancy “Tell me no Lies” Pelosi – Sources confirm the Speaker has yet to finalize plans for the August recess. Those same sources report invitations have been pouring in including one from the CIA to observe secret covert gorilla operations on a undisclosed island in the south pacific which just so happens to be infested with 15 foot long Kimono Dragons who’s favorite food source is wild eyed, left wing, west coast, bleeding heart socialist/liberal head cases. The Speaker also has an open invitation to go quail hunting with VP Dick Cheney. Thoughts of Obama from Bama certainly encourages Ms. Pelosi to take full advantage of these once in a lifetime travel experiences.

· Senate Majority Leader, Harry Reid - After joining the President with a chorus of criticism for evil corporate America wasting millions at high brow resorts it finally dawned on our Mormon Senior Senator from Nevada he was cutting his own political throat. Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons claims canceled convention business in large part brought on by the President’s and Reid’s comments have cost the state over $200 million in lost business. In an effort to save his political hide the good Senator is vacationing in Vegas this year with a cast of 500+ staffers and support folks. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas and our hard earned tax dollars are all staying to help Senator Reid’s reelection efforts.

· Barney “ Freddie in the Fannie Mack” Frank – The pride of Massachusetts, the Honorable Barney Frank, is embarking on his annual pilgrimage to South Beach, Key West, and San Francisco in search of Mr. Good Bar.

Car Salesman: “Now, I owe it to myself to tell you, Mr. Griswold, that if you are thinking of taking the tribe cross country, this is your automobile. The Wagon Queen Family Truckster. You think you hate it now, but wait till you drive it”.

Under normal circumstances Thoughts of Obama from Bama would express outrage at the great waste of time, tax payer money and flagrant abuse of power associated with the so called “District Work Period” or in reality summer vacation or August recess our elected officials are currently enjoying. That being said, keeping this crowd out of town and not conducting official business "on our behalf" may be the best investment we can make to preserve the Union until the 2010 midterm elections.

Clark Griswold: “I think you're all @#*# in the head. We're ten hours from the *$@#ing fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much #@*#ing fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our damn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're #@@#**#@! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy #@*#!”

I am, “American by Birth and Southern by the Grace of God”
Ron W. Garikes