Thoughts of Obama From Bama

Week 66: Conspiracy Theories

Americans just absolutely love a good old fashion "Conspiracy Theory". Reckon we have a natural skepticism and healthy mistrust of government and other large institutions that makes us question authority and the "official story" the powers that be want us to believe.

Our Conspiracy Theories come in all shapes and sizes with some truly so far fetched only an officiando the likes of Oliver Stone could believe it to the more mundane variety that tend to easily attain widespread public acceptance.

A few examples of the most popular and well known Conspiracy Theories include the following:

• NASA and the US Government staged the Apollo program including all of the Lunar landings and mission to the moon
• US Government and Military cover up of Alien visitors, not the criminal illegal variety currently pouring over the Arizona/Mexico border, known as Area 54 in Roswell, New Mexico.
• Vast Right Wing Conspiracy - Bill and Hillary Clinton's neurotic fear that conservatives were secretly spreading falsehoods about their nefarious outlaw behavior, which mostly turned out to be not only true but a lot worse than any of us ever would have imagined.
• HIV was developed by the CIA for biological warfare purposes
• Castro, the Mafia, and/or the CIA were responsible for the JFK assassination
• Elvis staged his own death and still walks amongst us sporting those blue suede shoes today

Two Current Conspiracy Theories frequently discussed on mostly left wing cable news and the blogosphere from the extreme fringes of the political spectrum are 9/11 boneheads and the so called birthers.

9/11r's, including the likes of political charlatans and scoundrels Reverend Wright; Obama political soul mate Bill Ayers; the pinheaded anchors on CNBC; Rosie Cream Filled Chocolate Covered O'Donnell; Michael Jelly Doughnut Moore; half of the Obama Cabinet; almost all of his "Secret Shadow Government" of Socialist Czars; and blame America first nut jobs like Representative Maxine Waters are promoting the notion that W was behind the terrorist attacks that killed 3,000 innocent civilians back in September of 2001.

The fact there doesn't seem to be a shred of evidence to support this absolutely ridiculous accusation and that one would have to be crazier than a run over dog to even consider it doesn't deter these folks at all. Liberals, bless their hearts, never let facts, truth, logic, reason or integrity come between them and a potentially damaging scandal about a political opponent.

Their crazy ass story claims W and his storm troopers committed this act of international terrorism against the very country they took an oath to uphold and protect to give them a good excuse to attack Iraq and kill Saddam Husein. Mercy, a mind truly is a terrible thing to waste.

Birthers, as labeled by the left wing media elite press, claim President Obama isn't an American citizen because he wasn't born on US soil rendering him ineligible for the office of the Presidency. Our Criminal Illegal Alien-in-Chief has produced a Certificate of Birth from the State of Hawaii. The fact it's not a "Birth" Certificate seems the major bone of contention.

There also seems to be some evidence young Barack received financial aid reserved for foreign students while attending Columbia. What seems like some credible evidence aside it's hard to imagine with the intense scrutiny all Presidential candidates experience that a non American could actually get elected, even if he does seem to advocate an agenda foreign to most Americans.

Thoughts of Obama From Bama has a couple of Conspiracy Theories of our own after some serious observation of the Hope, Change and Believe gang that admittedly might sound a tad insane at first but when you consider what these folks have accomplished in office so far, you never know.

Consider the following:

• USA MOTORS - Is it a huge coincidence or is there something more sinister a foot when a few months after the Obama Administration commandeered control of the US auto industry the number one car company in the world, Toyota, goes to hell in a handbag. After a forty year record of making some of the world's most dependable and high performance vehicles why are Toyotas from coast to coast falling apart faster than Speaker Pelosi's face on a hot summers day.


• To date we haven't been able to confirm this but it has been reported by sources close to Military Special Ops that Vice President Uncle Joe Biden,White House Chief of Staff Rahm the Enforcer Emanuel, and Bolshevik the First Dog have been spotted on multiple occasions infiltrating Toyota Dealerships across the country repelling from black almost completely silent choppers armed with cans of super glue with the intent of pasting gas peddles to the floor in the spirit of Elwood "We're on a mission from God" Blues


• Rumor has it VEEP Biden also has a bronzed Toyota gas peddle assembly hanging behind his desk. A caption beneath reads "Toyota - At One Time the World's Best F...ing Automobile"


• DRILL BABY DRILL - Our second "Conspiracy Theory" finds the whole notion of the President announcing a partial lift on his ban on offshore drilling and a few weeks later a rig blows up in the Gulf of Mexico way too close for comfort. Threatened with the worst man made ecological disaster in forty years our Mr the Ends Always Justifies the Means-in-Chief now has a political free hand to impose his radical Socialist Green agenda upon us while our attention is diverted by this disaster.


• We also have it on good authority that Al Mr Inconvenient Lie Gore along with Chris Mathews, Tim Robbins and Barbara Boxer were spotted several times cruising along in a Green Peace Zodiac immediately following the explosion in the general vicinity of the rig. We are certainly not suggesting that any of these Extreme Green activist were involved in the explosion as that would make us as totally nuts as the whack jobs that claim W is behind 9/11.

There is no doubt you'd have to be crazier than an outhouse rat to buy into either one of of our "Conspiracy Theories". They are both unsubstantiated; without merit; ludicrous; unfair; and absolutely absurd. On the other hand, so is Barack Obama.

Had lunch at the Waffle House with Elvis last week. The King sends his regards.

I am, " American by birth and Southern by the grace of God"

Ron W Garikes

THOUGHTS of OBAMA FROM BAMA

Week 65: "Thank you, thank you very much"

"Colonel Jessep, did you order a Code Red?" Lieutenant Kaffee
"You want answers?" Colonel Jessep
"I want the truth!" Kaffee
"You can't handle the truth", "... I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way..."
Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson, "A Few Good Men"

With the same condescending, narcissistic, unbelievable arrogance so brilliantly portrayed by actor Jack Nicholson in his classic role as Colonel Nathan R Jessep in the movie "A Few Good Men" our Elitist Pointy Headed Harvard Law Constitutional Scholar-in-Chief again demonstrated his complete disdain for the very same folks that literally brought his young ass to the big dance.

While addressing a group of wealthy, most likely with a large contingency of tax cheats and advocates for the Victim class; left wing; progressive; elitist; boneheaded liberals at a star studded fund raiser in Miami Mr Obama expressed his amusement when referring to the millions of patriotic Americans who have found their political voice in the Tea Party movement. Standing right on up there just like he had good sense our Orator of Empty Rhetoric-in-Chief further stated, in his best Elvis imitation, all he really wanted to hear from these people was "thank you, thank you very much".


Reminiscent of his "Clinging to guns and religion" comment during the campaign when talking about God fearing mostly rural blue collar folk who it is becoming abundantly clear he considers nothing more than no count yahoo white trash crackers our Teller of Big Ass Tales-in-Chief sanctimoniously mocked these millions of Americans who have dared to oppose his Socialist agenda and expose his lies about not raising taxes on anyone who earns over $200 grand a year. Instead he seeks gratitude and adoration for phantom tax cuts and oh so real tax hikes already enacted or about to be unleashed on a mostly totally unsuspecting public.

In fact, the House Ways and Means Committee, speaking of a bunch yahoos, chaired by the most notorious tax cheat yahoo of them all, Congressmen Charlie Rangel of NY, just released a report prepared by the Minority GOP Members listing all of our Hiker of Middle Class Taxes-in-Chief's tax increases imposed on us citizens of all income levels. The President and his Democrat comrades in Congress have increased our already over taxed nation by $67o Billion, $316 Billion on the poor pilgrims making less than $200 Grand who were suppose to be off limits according to our Maker of Empty Promises-in-Chief.

New taxes Mr Obama seems to be so tinkled pink over and that we should all be thankful for include:

1. Tax on individuals who refuse to buy health insuranc
2. Tax on employers that don't adhere to Obamacare mandates


3. 40 % tax on "Cadillac" health insurance plans


4. 0.9% increase in Medicare tax
5. 3.8% surtax on certain investment income


6. Increase in allowable medical deduction threshold
7. New $2,500 cap on FSA contributions


8. New annual tax on health insurance


9. Tax on brand name drugs


10. 2.3% tax on medical devices


11. 10% tax on UV tanning


12. New tax on self insured health plans


13. Double tax on non-qualified HSA distribution


14. Eliminate deduction on expenses for Medicare Part D


15. Limit certain deductions for health insurance executives


16. Tobacco tax


17. O2 tax on every breath we take


18. Vision tax on every thing we see
19. 20% surtax on every word we speak
20. A life tax for every minute; hour; day; week; month; year that we walk on God's green earth

$670 Billion in only 65 weeks. That's a little north of $10 Billion a week in new taxes since infesting the White House. If they keep this pace up for the duration of their term these blood sucking Socialist will end up stealing almost an additional $2 Trillion not only from us but also our youngins, our youngin's youngins, and our youngin's youngin's youngins.

For all this our Colonel Nathan R Jessep (Jack Nicholson) "I would rather you just say thank you and go on your way..."-in-Chief just wants our adoration, eternal gratitude and thanks. Well, with all due respect Mr. President - Thank This! Actually, how about we thank your happy ass all the way back too Havana, Moscow, Beijing, and/or whatever Utopian Socialist commune you consider home.

Elvis has left the building and Thoughts of Obama From Bama certainly hopes you and your Marxist/Socialist comrades will be joining the boy soon.

"Thank you, thank you very much".

"I am, American by birth and Southern by the grace of God"

Ron W. Garikes

Thoughts of Obama From Bama

Week 64: The Eye of the Storm

We left the bar last night at about half past eight
Down to the Alabama shore not the Aloha state
This storm may pass, it was too late
Hey we ain't the kind to evacuate
The impact zone is calling out my name

I feel like Goin, surfing in a hurricane
I feel like making love in the pouring rain
I ain't afraid of dyin,
I got no need to explain
I feel like Goin, surfing in a hurricane
"Surfing in a Hurricane", Jimmy Buffett

Don't rightly know from first hand hand experience but it 's been said the eye of a hurricane is truly a sight to behold. An unparalleled natural phenomena of sublime tranquility and a prelude too all manner of destruction and disaster.

With the eye of Hurricane Barack mercifully passing overhead with the passage of thier unconstitutional Universal Healthcare travesty of justice we are experiencing a brief reprieve from the Bolshevik winds and Communist storm surge originating at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. But as the backside of the storm typically reeks the most havoc and damage we would all be well advised to head for high ground with plenty of provisions and a steadfast diligence to ride this storm out till the all clear flags are unfurrowed with a GOP victory in the fall of 2010 elections.

During the first 64 weeks of the Hope/Change/Believe gang's infestation of the White House our great nation has been pounded with wave after left wing extremest wave of Marxist/Socialist propaganda and legislative initiatives. With the unabated and enthusiastic support of an adoring mainstream pointy headed press corps our Socialist-in-Chief has with great focus and deliberation laid the foundation for transforming the world's bastion of free enterprise; capitalism; open markets; personal liberty; limited government; innovation; and unlimited opportunity into an European style Socialist Nanny State.

A brief review of this Socialist tsunami leading the front edge of the storm is cause for serious consternation and well worth revisiting:

• A Trillion plus so called Stimulus package which in reality was a massive redistribution of wealth, deficit exploding, debt busting Socialist political pay back slush fund
• Nationalization of the Banking industry
• Nationalization of the US Auto industry
• Blatant propaganda campaign to indoctrinate US youngins including a national mind control speech and a so called "Study Guide"
• Establishment of a "Secret Shadow Government" of radical Marxist/Socialist tax cheat Czars
• A Federal Pay Czar dictating private sector compensation
• A bow to despot tyrannical world leaders; bend over; grab your ankles; thank you sir may I have another, pucker up butter cup Foreign Policy
• Overseas Contingencies Plans and Man made Disasters
• Alienation of friends and allies including Israel and the Brits
• Adoption of a Marxist dog named Bo-shelvek
• Secret political indoctrination meetings in Moscow, Beijing, Havana and Caracas
• Sunday night poker with Reverend Wright, Bill Ayers, Louis Farrakhan and Uncle Joe
• The big, fat, greasy enchilada of all time and mother of unfunded government mandates Obamacare/Socialized Medicine/ Universal Healthcare

With a total disregard and contempt for "We the People" the Unholy Trinity of Obama, Pelosi and Reid have seemingly concluded to double down and go for broke come hell or high water. Conceding massive losses in the off year elections they plan to ram through every single left wing, Socialist, Marxist initiative on their legislative agenda while they still have super majorities in both chambers of Congress.

So what can we expect when the backside of this Category 5 Bolshevik storm makes landfall? Untold devastation and a "natural" disaster of historic proportions:

• Nationalization of the entire Financial industry
• A Government takeover of the US Energy industry
• Amnesty for all criminal illegal aliens considered by Dems as a sure fire natural political constituency
• New taxes up the yazoo and government spending out the yi yang
• A European type VAT Consumption tax
• Diminished standing in global affairs
• Nomination and probable confirmation of another judicial activist left wing radical; racist; secular progressive; ACLU Bonehead Supreme Court Justice
• More Islamic Jihadist enemy combatants granted Constitutional rights once reserved for us tax paying citizens
• Expansion of IRS Authority to enforce Socialized Medicine regulations
• State sponsored Communes established to educate/indoctrinate future Socialist leaders
• White House transformed into radical left wing think tank chock full of wild eyed Marxist revolutionaries, um sorry, they already checked that one off their list
• All that oppose Obama initiatives detained and "interned" in reeducation camps
• Foot showers installed at White House to accommodate Islamic guest visiting during Call to Prayer time

The proverbial "Eye of the Storm" and/or "Calm Before the Storm" has descended upon us for a far too brief moment before the turbulence and destruction of the back storm wall slams ashore with deadly force and malicious intent. Good Lord willing and if the Communist tide don't rise too high we'll ride out this Marxist/Socialist hurricane and turn the "Ship of State"back on a course well right of center after the election in November.

I am, American by birth and Southern by the grace of God.

Ron W. Garikes