Saturday, August 27, 2011

Thoughts of Obama From Bama

Week 135: “Summer Rental”

Well this lunch break is gonna take all afternoon
And half the night
Tomorrow morning I know there'll be hell to pay
Hey! But, that's all right
Ain't had a day off now in over a year
My Jamaican vacation's gonna start right here
If the phone's for me you can tell 'em I just sailed away and..

I could pay off my tab
Pour myself in a cab
And be back to work before two:
At a moment like this
I can't help but wonder,
what would Jimmy Buffett do?

I'd say..
Pour me something tall and strong
Make it a hurricane
Before I go insane
It's only half past 12
But, I don't care
its five O'clock somewhere.

“It's five O'clock somewhere”, Jimmy Buffett and Allen Jackson

For three years running the First Family has chosen to spend their summer vacation on Martha’s Vineyard. An exclusive island get away only accessible by boat or private jet (thought the President didn’t particularly care for all those evil private jet owners) that serves as the summer home to several hundred of the world’s wealthiest liberal elite.

While we certainly don’t begrudge our Chief Executive a little R&R with the kinfolk we do question why he’s so hell bent about going to one of the most high brow, expensive, Yankee rich vacation destinations on the planet. Especially when you consider the millions of his fellow Americans, all the poor dumb pilgrims he's always so passionately talking about helping during one of his seemingly endless class warfare propaganda addresses, that are literally struggling to keep food on the table.

To add insult to injury according to published reports the Obama’s “Summer Rental“ leases out for a cool fifty grand per week. With 9.1% unemployment, millions of the President’s beloved working class dealing with underwater mortgages, and 401K values sinking faster than Nancy Pelosi’s most recent face lift forking out fifty grand for a week long “Summer Rental “is nothing less than extreme arrogance, a disdain not often seen from a American President towards all of the folks paying the bills around here and the epitome of left wing secular progressive elitism.

Any man who spends 12.5% of his $400,000 annual salary on a one week “Summer Rental“ while so many are experiencing moderate to severe economic hardship needs to seriously reevaluate his priorities. Spending thousands on golf, ice-cream, yacht rentals, expensive dinners, a “Come as Your Favorite Nekkid Marxist/Socialist Pre-Labor Day” party, and a wheel barrel full of books for him and the youngins so to catch up on their summer reading is just downright tacky.

Reckon we shouldn’t expect anything less from the corrupt Chicago politician egg head Yankee lawyer who’s quickly wearing out his welcome at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Bless his little Socialist heart the man has no conscience about spending our money in a criminally negligent fashion so their ain’t no reason at all why we should expect he has the good sense to spend his own any differently.

Speaking of books a highly placed source with the Obama bunch shared the President’s vacation reading list with your humble columnist. We are told he owns first edition autographed manuscripts of all of these political classics:

1. Utopian And Scientific - Frederick Engels, March 1880
2. 18th Brumaire of Louis Napoleon - Karl Marx, March 1852
3. Communist Manifesto - Karl Marx, February 21, 1848.
4. The State and Revolution - Vladimir Lenin, 1918
5. Primetime Propaganda: The True Hollywood Story of How the Left Took Over Your TV by Ben Shapiro (May 31, 2011
6. Techniques of Propaganda and Persuasion by Magedah Shabo (Nov 1, 2010)
7. Propaganda and the Public Mind by David Barsamian and Noam Chomsky (May 2001)


In addition to nightly public readings from the President’ s favorite piece of literature of all time, the Communist Manifesto, the First Family is said to be attending daily seminars on a wide range of topics including:

• Advanced Propaganda Strategies
• Bold and Audacious Assignment of Blame
• Never Tell the Truth When a Lie Makes Us Sound More Accountable and Sincere
• Socialism is the New Realty

In an effort to exploit the President’s elitist arrogance vacationing on Martha Vineyard while the country’s economy sinks down to the 8th level of hell the RNC is sending out 18 mock post cards from the President for fund raising purposes. Ain’t hard to figure why the Dems are waxing the GOP so far in the fund raising after seeing these boring, boring, boring attempts at humor.

None of the following got me all hot and bothered feeling so compelled to pull out the check book running out of the house like my hair was on fire in search of a Democrat to tell what for:

• "Finding a wave in Martha's Vineyard is almost as hard as finding a job."
• "I'd say after 40 fund raisers, I've earned a vacation."
• "Wishing you happy job hunting from sunny Martha's Vineyard."
• "Gotta sharpen my game for the next ESPN special."
• "I hope I bowl higher than my approval rating."
• "Why did that lifeguard call me Jimmy Carter?"
• "I shot a 39 on the front nine--matches my approval rating."
• "It's hot outside, heading to take a double dip."
• "This $50,000 per week estate is wicked awesome."
• "One local called me the Bill Buckner of the economy. That's good, right?"
• "No Joe, don't touch anything while I'm gone."
• "Low polls, high unemployment...life's a beach."
• "On second thought, maybe I was wrong about Slurpees."
• "Great thing about vacations...don't need a plan."
• "Wow, I'm eligible for an upgrade. Boy, I needed that."
• "I'll pivot to that whole jobs thing...next week."
• "Raining in Martha's Vineyard. Must be Bush's fault."
• "Divots: They're shovel ready


In our humble opinion something along the lines of the following would be setting fund raising records at levels the RNC would have never dreamed possible:

• Obama’s face grinning from humongous ear to ear with the caption – “Socialism, the New Normal”
• “Just Can’t Wait To Get Back to the Oval Office and Back to Work Spending, taxing, regulating, apologizing and appeasing on behalf of all the dumb pilgrims who actually think I’m on their fighting side”
• “Never met a tax I didn’t openly greet with a big ole sloppy wet kiss”
• “I’ll be back to work on Monday” If this one doesn’t compel us to write a 6 figure check we deserve what we get


Mr. President, next time take the fifty plus grand you spent on your “Summer Rental” and give it to a worthy charity and spend your vacation at Camp David, or your Chicago home. Our even better yet save it. We have a strong hankering you just might need it after the 2012 election.

I am, “American by Birth and Southern by the Grace of God”

Ron W. Garikes

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Thoughts of Obama From Bama

Week 134: “Trains, Planes & Million Dollar Presidential Campaign Busses ”

Took the bus out of Austin, band was all on board
Everyone's so excited, who knows what lays in store
Hey look out the window, there goes Baton Rouge
Nobody there knows us, band's still paying its dues
Yeah we're paying dues

First show in New Orleans, saw the lights of Bourbon Street
On the road in the morning, Little Rock's where we'll be
And the bus keeps on rolling, down that old highway
And every night we play music, that's what gets you through the day
Yeah, cause that's why we play
“Down the Road”, Jerry Jeff Walker

Our “Campaigner-in-Chief” has struck out on what’s been labeled as a three day “Listening Tour” by the White House propagandist and political hacks. With those humongous ears you’d think the President would take to a “Listening Tour” like a duck to water, white on rice, and/or Yankees displaying tacky behavior.

Unfortunately this President loves the sound of his own voice far too much to ever really hear what someone else has to say. Especially anyone with the audacity to actually disagree or speak out aginst his Marxist/Socialist dreams of grandeur.

Claiming this campaign trip as official Presidential business Mr. Obama is conducting a three day bus trip to Midwestern swing states making hyper-partisan stump speeches whining like a spoiled child about all the misfortune heaped on his narrow shoulders that is putting a damper on his brilliant economic recovery plans. Not a peep about his incompetence and criminally negligent spending of other people’s money contributing to this fiscal catastrophe.

To add insult to injury we the people are paying for this farce and thinly veiled campaign swing through Minnesota, Iowa and Illinois. A total waste and misuse of tax payer’s money that includes a shiny new fortress on wheels, a multi-million dollar “unofficial” campaign bus, paid for by all of us poor dumb taxpaying pilgrims.

Why in the world a man who has unlimited access to the most advanced private jet known to mankind, a flock of helicopters and a fleet of missal proof limos needs a huge black touring bus that can probably withstand all manner of natural and manmade forms of destruction is sure enough a real head scratcher. Especially when this fiasco on wheels is paid for with our hard earned tax dollars.

Highly placed sources in the Obama regime have confirmed that this ultra high tech multi-million dollar mobile campaign headquarters not only could survive a nuclear bomb attack but also is chock full of the latest creature comforts no President should ever leave home without. This bad boy comes fully equipped with a practice putting green; hoops goal; teleprompter; smoking area; accommodations for the first pooch Bolshevik; fully stocked bar; home theatre; left wing media elite press room; a Mosque; and a Communist Manifesto Display Room.

Our gift to the Obama campaign ain’t exactly eco friendly neither. How our clean, green, tree hugging, bark eating, alternative energy mandating Chief Executive justifies joy riding around the County in a bus that gets 2 miles to the gallon with a carbon footprint bigger than Al Gore’s monthly massage bill is truly a mystery to behold.

President Obama’s message to the folks at his noncampaign campaign rallies that he drives to in his noncampaign campaign bus doesn’t seem anywhere near worth all the heart ache and commotion this little Midwestern excursion is stirrin up. Just more of the same class and generational warfare, pointing fingers, doubling down on failed policy initiatives and making lame excuses for his dismal economic performance.

His town hall and backyard gatherings are just more empty rhetoric including the following over used and boring talking points:

• “There’s nothing wrong with our country, there is something wrong with our politics.”
• Citing “brinkmanship” as an obstacle to growing the economy and creating jobs, the president criticized “the idea that making it through the next election is more important than making things right.”
• “Some in Congress would rather see their opponents lose than see America win.”
• The president proposed extending the payroll tax cut, cutting “red tape” in the patent process so that entrepreneurs can get ideas to the market more quickly, and finishing trade deals to boost the sale of American-made goods around the globe.
• “Their vision is less about reducing the deficit than it is about changing the basic social compact in America,” pitting “children with autism or Down’s syndrome” against “every millionaire and billionaire in our society.”


Boring, boring, boring. The same counterproductive don’t have a clue remarks and proposals we’ve been hearing for the last six months.

We have been informed our”Economist-in-Chief” will be making a major fiscal policy announcement in September outlining his latest plan for economic growth, job creation and debt reduction. By our count this is the 12th time this bunch has announced they will be making a major fiscal policy announcement so we ain’t exactly expecting any world changing breakthroughs at just one more Obama economic propaganda fest.

Reckon this noncampaign campaign bus is the President’s idea of shared sacrifice. We sacrifice while he shares the wealth by redistributing trillions to his political constituencies and buying himself a shiny new campaign bus.

Bless his heart the President is spending the next ten days vacationing in the liberal bastion Martha’s Vineyard after three grueling days on the road on his Midwest campaign noncampaign “Listening Tour”. VP “Uncle” Joe Biden is reportedly taking the noncampaign campaign bus on a ten day binge to Vegas, South Beach and other where abouts unknown.

Cheers!

I am, “American by Birth and Southern by the Grace of God”

Ron W. Garikes

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Thoughts of Obama From Bama

Week 133: “A Presidency of First”

Six days later, I was
feeling like a missing link
When my friends told me, hey Jimmy
It must have been the
hoodlum drink (hoodlum drink)

Now it's time for siestas
And a belly full of rice and beans
And figure if I'm brave enough
To repeat the whole crazy scene

On my first look
That's when I swallowed the hook
On my first look, around
“My First Look”, Jimmy Buffett

Bless their little hearts one aspect of the train wreck known as the Obama Presidency is the truly remarkable number of first achieved by this corrupt gang of ultra left wing liberal zealots. The speed and frequency this bunch has established historic precedent on such a wide array of topics and issues demonstrates an almost total disregard for decades of solid policy initiatives, decorum, and conducting one’s affairs with honor, dignity and in an intellectually honest fashion.

Of course some of Obama’s first are sure enough historic in consequence. The first individual of color to be elected to the highest Office in the land is a testament to our great nation’s real progress towards a color blind society.

Turns out Mr. Obama is the wrong person of color and by just about any other criteria for the job. This sad but true reality doesn’t minimize or negate the significance of this historic first.

President Obama’s Socialist Regime has compiled an impressively dubious list of historically unprecedented first that would have been the political ruin of any Republican Administration and even a few moderate Democrats. Without protection and the blind support from the hyper partisan main stream media elite boneheads candidate Obama would have never beat Hillary “Sarge” Clinton for the nomination and once elected would have been run out of town on a rail for his criminally negligent lack of leadership.

Following is a list of Obama First which in many instances are the last things we’d expect from the person residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue:

• The First President that attended Islamic grade school as a youngster
• The First President that according to his book “Dreams of My Father” thought the Islamic Call to Prayer was the sweetest sound he ever heard
• The First President that according to his own book was conceived out of wedlock to a black Kenyan Muslim father and a white free spirited mother who pursued a nomadic hippie life style most of her adult life
• The First President that according to his own book was a booze guzzling crack head during his formative high school and college days
• The First President that according to his own book actively sought out the company of left wing extremist, radical feminist, and Communist professors while attending college
• The First President that worked for a Community Action Organization, ACORN, that publicly confirmed their Socialist agenda
• The First President that was an active member of a Black Liberation Church that openly advocates anti-American; racist; the entitlements of the “Victim Class”; and Marxist/Socialist policies
• The First President who’s political running buddies in Chicago included a self described domestic terrorist, Bill Ayers, one of the leaders of the criminal thug Underground Weatherman
• The First President who joined the country of Mexico and sued a State in the United States to force that State to continue to allow Illegal Immigration
• The First President who put 87,000 workers out of work by arbitrarily placing a moratorium on offshore oil drilling on companies that have one of the best safety records of any industry because one foreign company had an accident in the Gulf of Mexico
• The First President who hired open hardcore Marxist/Socialist for leadership positions in his Administration
• The first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference
• The first President to hang autographed pictures of all his political heroes in the Oval Office including the likes of Karl Marx, Mao Zedong , Lenin, Castro, Hugo Chavez, and Joe Stalin
• The first President to increase annual Federal Spending to almost $4 Trillion dollars
• The first President to set the White House Rose Garden a blaze after chain smoking a pack of KOOLS leaving lit butts behind in-between Debt reduction meetings with Congressional leaders
• The first President to accumulate over a Trillion Dollar Annual deficits three years running
• The first President to have a Portuguese Water Dog First Pooch named Bolshevik. Reckon a domestic breed or all American mutt named Rufus, Butkis or Snot is just a tad beneath these Ivy League Liberal elitist
• The first President to amass a criminally negligent national debt just south of $15 Trillion equaling 100% of GDP. The first time the debt/GDP ratio has been this high since WWII
• The first President to successfully implement a hostile and unconstitutional Government takeover of the US Healthcare Industry. More than likely resulting in the largest redistribution of wealth in the history of the civilized world.
• The first President to advocate changing the national pastime from Baseball to the Communist sport of Soccer
• The first President to have the Country’s Credit Rating, which up till now has been the world’s gold standard and most trusted safe haven for global investments, downgraded from Triple A to Double A + status under his watch. To throw salt in the wound we are also catching valid and justifiable grief from the likes of the Communist Chinese and Socialist French about our fiscal mismanagement which by any reasonable measure should be considered an impeachable offense if it ain’t already.


Guilty of gross incompetence and criminally negligent fiscal malfeasance this absolutely unqualified and dangerously inexperienced “In Way Above His Humongous Ears-in-Chief “is most deserving of one more unprecedented historical first. Impeachment by the House of Representatives followed by a guilty Conviction by the US Senate.

Doubtful, but considering the deserving what for from our far too often arrogant French allies certainly not out of the realm of possibility.

I am, “American by Birth and Southern by the Grace of God”

Ron W. Garikes

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Thoughts of Obama From Bama

Week 132: “A Good Start”

Pissin' in the wind, bettin' on a losing friend
Makin' the same mistakes, we swore we'd never make again
And we're pissin' in the wind, but it's blowing on all our friends
We're gonna sit and grin and tell our grandchildren

About the time I called this Guy it was four in the morning
Teach me the words to the song I was humming
He just laughed and he said that the ole grey cat is sneakin' down the hall
But all he wants to know is who in the hell is paying for the call

That the answer my friend is just pissin' in the wind
The answer is pissin' in the wind
“Pissin' In the Wind”, Jerry Jeff Walker

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers all piled up at the bottom of the sea? A good start.

After months of hyper partisan feuding in our nation’s capital over extending Uncle Sammy’s debt ceiling, line of credit, the President and his Democrat comrades in Congress finally agreed to some restraints on future spending for a couple more trillion in borrowing authority. “A Good Start” or just more “Pissin' In the Wind”? Reckon only time will tell.

In an unprecedented move Congressional Republicans refused to approve the President’s request to increase the Government’s credit line. Up till now a fairly routine procedural maneuver that typically slid through Congress much akin to a hot knife cutting through butter.

Led by theTea Party Caucus and other fiscal conservatives House GOPR’s told the out of control spending Obama Administration what for insisting on some reasonable restraints on future expenditures and structural changes required to balance the budget. Liberal boneheads addicted to the reckless spending of other people’s money blew a gasket and all hell done broke loose in the hallowed halls of Congress and 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Starting with the President his self left wing head cases the likes of Uncle Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, and Barney “Freddie In the Fannie Mac“ Frank accused House Republicans of holding the Country hostage with a gun to the head of We the People and behaving like Jihadist Hezbula terrorist. Interesting rhetoric to say the least from a bunch of pasavist that normally won’t even call real genuine terrorist, a terrorist.

Finally after Speaker Boehner realized the President couldn’t be trusted to negotiate in good faith he walked and focused his efforts on cutting a deal with Senate Democrats. Knowing Boehner was sure enough more than happy to risk the potential, but far from certain, adverse financial implications of missing the Admnistration’s self imposed deadline of August 2cd Senate Majority Reid folded like a cheap lawn chair and gave away the proverbial farm.

A large bipartisan vote passed in the House on August 1st followed by an even larger bipartisan majorty vote in the Senate at the 11th hour and 59th minute on Treasury Secretary Geithner’s bogus day of all manner of financial disaster, default and the catastrophic demise of the good faith and credit of the world’s most stable and trusted economy. The Pesident finally got his greedy little bony Socialist fingers on 2.4 Trillion dollars of other people’s money to redistribute to his political supporters the unions, victim class, and bleeding heart secular progressive liberal pinheads.

Following is a summary of the primary components of the “Great Increase in the Debt Ceiling, Spending Caps and Balanced Budget Bill of 2011”:

• Immediate increase the debt limit by $400 billion,
• Obama permitted to order another $500 billion increase this fall unless both House and Senate override him by veto-proof margins
• A third installment of between $1.2 trillion and $1.5 trillion would be made available after enactment of matching levels of additional spending cuts recommended by a special joint committee of lawmakers.
• $1.5 trillion could also be available if Congress adopts and sends to the states for ratification a balanced budget amendment to the Constitution.
• $900 billion in spending cuts over 10 years from Cabinet agencies whose budgets are passed each year by Congress. Caps such "discretionary" spending at $1.043 trillion in 2012, $7 billion below 2011 levels and $44 billion below an inflation-adjusted "baseline”.
• A near-freeze in 2013, discretionary spending would increase by about 2 percent a year
• Both security and nonsecurity programs would absorb outright cuts in 2012. The Pentagon is among a group of programs that together would absorb a $4 billion cut from current levels next year. Other programs in the security category include foreign aid, intelligence, homeland security and veterans' programs.
• The creation of a 12-person House/Senate committee evenly divided between the political parties, and charged with producing up to $1.5 trillion more in deficit cuts over 10 years including Medicare, Medicaid, farm subsidies and federal retirement programs.
• If a majority of the committee agrees on a plan, it would receive a vote in both the House and the Senate. If the panel deadlocks or fails to produce at least $1.2 trillion in additional cuts, or if Congress fails to enact its recommendations, the White House budget office would impose spending cuts across much of the federal budget, including the Pentagon, domestic agency budgets and farm subsidies
• The plan also requires both the House and Senate to vote on a balanced budget amendment to the Constitution; establish "program integrity" initiatives aimed at stemming abuses in Social Security and federal health care programs; and preserve recent funding increases for Pell Grants for low-income college students by $17 billion over 2012-13, financed by curbs in student loan subsidies.


When all is said and done will these measures resolve our Country’s debt crisis? No sir, no way, no how. Truth be told even if all these steps are implemented and achieve their desired results our accumulated National Debt will still increase by $6 – 8 Trillon dollars over the next ten years leaving us with a whoping $22 – 24 Trillion of borrowed money accruing interest faster than a scaulded dog running home to Moma.

This humongous, unsustsainable, and criminally negligent amount of outstanding debt will surely suck all of the economic oxygen out of the room and lead to the collapse and failure of the US economy. When confronted with this economic reality the President and his Socialist compadre’s in Congress continued efforts to expand the size, influence and cost of the Federal government is truly a call to arms to send these folk’s happy asses packing in the 2012 elections.

“A Good Start” – only if Conservatives sieze control of the White House and Senate, make real cuts to spending, balance the budget, get the hell out of the private sector’s way, and actually pay down the debt over the next ten years.

Pissin' In the Wind” – Exactly what will happen if we leave the incompitent, corrupt, Socialist Obama Regime in charge of this fiasco.

I am, “American by Birth and Southern by the Grace of God”

Ron W. Garikes