Thoughts on Obama From Bama

Week 154: “Chrystal Balling 2012”

From all I've seen of politics,
It's just a greasy big money stick
That's geared to run on tongues
So slick to make you think this is all there is
Boy you're lucky (You're stuck with Humphrey)

How they con the little middle man
Into thinkin' he has got a hand
To play in the future of the Promised Land,
he owes himself to the destiny of man
Gets ridiculous

A cheap gangster hires someone
To do his dirty work with a tommy gun
While the President just points at anyone
And says "I, your country needs some killing done
Go do it now boy, Ballad of the Hulk, Jerry Jeff Walker

There is sure enough about as much of a future predicting the future as a smart ass Yankee will experience making insulting remarks about a good ole boy’s pickup truck, brand of beer, and/or hunting dog’s tracking ability in the local watering hole. Their short and long term prospects ain’t exactly looking too promising.

That being said we’re gonna throw caution to the wind and do some serious 2012 Chrystal Balling. And by that we mean predictions and prognostication about our political fortunes for the next 52 weeks and not a visit to Belle’s brothel down on the corner of Elm.

Starting with several partners in crime from congress and the private sector we’ll work our way down to the Socialist-in-Chief:

• Barney Freddy in the Fannie Mac Frank – becomes famous gay porn star. Movie debut, “Leading From Behind”, costarring CNN Anchor Anderson Cooper
• Harry Reid – retires from Senate and becomes motivational speaker. Bankrupt, homeless and destitute 6 months later
• Nancy Pelosi – convicted on Insider Trading charges. Takes to prison like a fish to water becoming leader of notorious Air Heads prison gang
• Robert Gibbs, former Obama Propaganda Czar – beat senseless by fellow employees at Google who quickly tired of his endless lying and blaming of others for his screw ups
• Warren Buffett – billionaire Obama advisor and higher taxes advocate convicted on Tax Evasion charges. The president appoints him as new Commerce Secretary
• David Axelrod – goes crazier than a runt over dog after defeat in presidential election lands job as new Editor in Chief of New York Times
• GOP keeps control of House and wins Senate
• Timmy Turbo Tax Guitner – impeached from Treasury Secretary post for gross incompetence. Named CFO of the Teamster Union
• AG Eric Holder – caught on hidden camera making an unconditional deal to release Islamic Jihadist terrorist. Keeps job with full support of president
• Hillary of the Butt Ugly Pants Suit Clan – stepped down as Sec. State to start her 2016 presidential run
• VP Biden – gets knee walking crying about your daddy drunk election night. Where abouts unknown ever since
• Surprise late entrant Jeb Bush with VP running mate Chris Christie win historical record breaking presidential election
• Barack Obama leaves country immediately following election defeat to take position of El Presedente of Communist Cuba. Truly a match made in Heaven

Here’s to a happy by damn 2012.

I am, “American by Birth and Southern by the Grace of God”

Ron W. Garikes

ROLL TIDE