Thoughts of Obama from Bama

Week 41: “The Patients Really are Running the Asylum, Part 2”

"Speakin' of fruitcakes, how 'bout the government? Your tax dollars at work.
We lost our Martian rocket ship The high paid spokesman said Looks like that silly rocket ship Has lost its cone shaped head We spent 90 jillion dollars, trying to get a look at Mars I hear universal laughter, ringing out among the stars

Fruitcakes in the galaxy Fuitcakes on the earth Struttin' naked towards eternity We've been that way since birth Half-baked cookies in the oven Half-baked people on the bus There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us”

Jimmy Buffett, Fruitcakes

In last week’s Column, “Week 40: The Patients Really are Running the Asylum”, we talked about the madness of ramming Socialized Medicine down our throats especially when considering Einstein’s definition of crazy, “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. We also identified the 4 seriously disturbed individuals leading this effort and their absence of any healthcare experience what so ever but abundance of Socialist credentials – Our Commander-in-Chief, Barack “Insane” Obama; White House Chief of Staff, Rahm “The Unhinged Enforcer Sleeps With the Fishes” Emanuel; Speaker of the House, Nancy “The Nutcase” Pelosi; and Senate Majority Leader, Harry “Mr. Public Option Come Hell or High Water One Can Short of a Six Pack” Reid.

This week we will expose some of the other “half-baked fruitcakes” assisting these four run “The Asylum” better known as our Nation’s Capital.

First, a multiple choice question:

· 36 accused of spousal abuse
· 7 arrested for fraud
· 19 accused of writing bad checks
· 117 directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
· 3 have done time for assault
· 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
· 14 arrested on drug-related charges
· 8 arrested for shoplifting
· 84 arrested for drunk driving

The stats listed above represent the criminal activities of the members of what Organization?

A. NFL
B. NBA
C. Lindsay Lohan and her Fan Club
D. Rap Group Crime Mob
E. None of the above

So who is this group of abusive; deadbeat; drug crazed; kleptomaniac; drunkards? E – None of the above. As Mark Twain so astutely observed “There is no distinctly native American criminal class except the US Congress”. The 435 scoundrels responsible for spending/wasting trillions of our hard earned dollars and writing the laws that govern this great nation are seemingly heavily infiltrated by not only “Half-baked Fruitcakes” but also a fair to midland number of hardcore criminals.

And these Criminal Stats don’t even incluade the two most recent additions to the Senate, Illinois’ Roland “Pay for Play” Burris and the Honorable “Half-baked Fruitcakes” of “Half-baked Fruitcakes” Al “I’m Dumber Than a Bag of Rocks and Crazier Than a Run over Dog” Franken from the truly politically bewildering state of Minnesota. Fraud, drug charges and Impersonating a Sane and Lawful Individual Crime Stats will surely spike dramatically after adding these two model citizens to the ranks of Congress.

The President’s Government Takeover of Healthcare Team keeps trying the same thing, Socialized Medicine, which has failed miserably in Massachusetts; Tennessee; Canada; and Great Britain, expecting different results when imposed on the entire nation. A classic example of the psychotic reckoning Einstein defined as insanity.

Some of the obviously psychologically disturbed left wing extremist making up this team include the following half-baked fruitcakes:

· Nancy-Ann Min DeParle – White House Healthcare Czar: Tennessee Grad, strike 1; Lawyer, strike 2; Clinton Administration Alum, strike 3; Absolutely no operational Healthcare experience. Suffering from a bad case of the Do Nothing/No Nothing Government Bureaucrat Brain Freeze Syndrome
· Kathleen Sebelius - Secretary of Health and Human Services: Leading the H1N1 Vaccine Program. Has over sold and under delivered blaming others for her and this Administration’s incompetence (SOP). Inflicted with the Healthcare Czar Envy Syndrome.
· Chucky Schumer - U.S. Senator from the State of New York: Another lawyer totaling lacking any Healthcare experience. Third in line in Senate Democratic Leadership. Recently diagnosed with Compulsive Obsessive Disorder displaying symptoms including the inability to leave the Senate Chamber until he has told at least eight lies and blamed W for some manner of international calamity.
· Max Baucus - U.S. Senator from Montana. Current chairman of the Senate Committee on Finance and primary author of partisan Senate Healthcare Reform Bill: Rumored to be et up with a severe bout of Coulrophobia, an abnormal fear of clowns. We commend him for overcoming this crippling condition having to spend so much time with his Democratic comrades in the Senate.
· Barney “Freddie in the Fannie Mac” Frank – Massachusetts Congressman: Another pinheaded Harvard Law Grad. Only Healthcare experience the time spent in the hospital for his sex change operation. Said to be inflicted with multiple Psychological conditions far too many in number to list here.
· Henry A. Waxman – California Congressman: Chair Commerce and Energy Committee and oversight of Health Sub Committee. Stared in “Lord of the Rings” as the Mayor of the Shire requiring no makeup or costume to achieve the desired look of a Hobbit. Another career politician with no healthcare experience. Frequently displays psychotic paranoid tendencies, especially in the presence of Wizards, Elves and Orcs.
· Al Franken – Minnesota Senator: SNL cast member and writer. Bombed out as liberal radio talk show host. Author of “Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations”. Psychological disorders include Rush Limbaugh Power Envy Syndrome; Rush Limbaugh Money Envy Syndrome; Rush Limbaugh Popularity Envy Syndrome; and Rush Limbaugh Talent Envy Syndrome.
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With every passing day the White House and Capitol Hill look and act more like a Home for the Criminally Insane and nothing at all like the world’s “Cradle of Democracy” occupied by wise and sage Statesmen and Patriots. Sadly, Washington DC has surpassed San Francisco as the Fruitcake Capital of the World.

In spite of growing public opposition, punch drunk with power and totally out of touch with the folks and reality, President Obama; Speaker Pelosi; Majority Leader Reid; and their fellow psychos in Congress are continuing to pursue their Marxist dreams of Socialized Medicine. We the People need to reclaim control of the Asylum, put a stop to all this madness, and once again remind our dear ole Uncle Sammy to keep his long and obtrusive nose out of private sector free market Healthcare System.

I am, “American by Birth and Southern by the Grace of God”

Ron W. Garikes

Week 8 – Bye
Roll Tide, Roll Tide, Roll on Mighty Tide