Thoughts of Obama From Bama

Week 128: “Happy 235th Birthday Uncle Sammy”

Hear 'em singing Happy Birthday
Better think about the wish I made
This year gone by ain't been a piece of cake
Every day's a revolution
Pull it together and it comes undone Just one more candle and a trip around the sun “Trip Around the Sun”, Jimmy Buffett

On Monday of Week 128 of the Barack “I have no idea how old my children are” Obama Administration our great nation celebrated it’s 235th Birthday. Our Birthday challenged Chief Executive had absolutely no idea how old Uncle Sammy turned on Monday but reckon we shouldn’t expect much more from a man who can’t seem to even remember the ages of his own youngins.

July 4th, 1776 was a milestone day in our County’s formation as The Declaration of Independence was officially signed and ratified by the Continental Congress. A brilliant proclamation telling King George and the Britts in no uncertain terms what for; no more stifling taxes; the hell with oppressive tyrannical big Government rule and regulations; time to pack up your red coated happy asses and set sail back across the pond.

Turns out the current occupant of the White House, Barack “Mr. Constitutional Scholar” Obama is a big fan of the Declaration of Independence, at least a modified version as revised by the President his self and his Socialist comrades. We have it on good authority he thinks so highly of his version of the Declaration that he carries a copy of the document with him at all times along with his two other most favorite political manuscripts the Communist Manifesto and the Five Pillars of Islam.

“Thoughts of Obama From Bama” has obtained copies of the President’s abbreviated versions of these documents and we are just tickled pink to include all three manuscripts in this week’s Column. The first document is a four point summary of the President’s political bible, The Communist Manifesto, written by one of our Chief Executive’s most admired historical figures, Karl Marx:

THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO

• Bourgeois and Proletarians – Advocacy of Class Warfare. A favored and frequently used Obama political tactic
• Proletarians and Communists – Elimination of private property, consolidation of power with a Central Government, communal equality. Three core tenants of the Obama agenda
• Socialist and Communist Literature – Propaganda. A key and vital Obama political weapon.
• Position of the Communists in Relation to the Various Opposition Parties - The quest for world dominance.

THE FIVE PILLARS OF ISLAM

• Shahada, the Creed - There is no god except God and Muhammad is the Messenger of God (Highly placed sources confirm the President often mumbles this phrase under his breath right before, and most often missing, any putt longer than 3 feet)
• Salat, Daily prayers (Sure enough might xplain the Secret Service Agent on the President’s detail lugging around the prayer rug and foot bath)
• Sawm, Fasting during Ramadan (Would certainly confirm how a man who travels with no less than 6 private chefs maintains his girlish figure)
• Zakat, Almsgiving (Justifies all the charitable donations to ACORN and other criminal Socialist organizations)
• Hajj, Pilgrimage to Mecca at least once in a lifetime (Finally some illumination on the many mysterious extended disappearances young Barack was known for during his drug hazed and delinquent college days)

THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE (REVISED OBAMA VERSION WITH REVISIONS DENOTED RED)

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's Allah entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by Allah with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the government, --The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

(All the specific Facts included in the original document have been omitted for space saving purposes)

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge, Allah the Great, Allah the Benevolent, of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

In solidarity with our comrades in the labor class we ask for Allah’s guidance and blessings as we endeavor to create the United Socialist States of America.

It is certainly more than fitten for all Americans to read the unedited original version of the Declaration of Independence at least annually especially on Uncle Sammy’s Birthday. The parallels as so eloquently described in Jefferson’s brilliant political proclamation between King George’s tyrannical, big oppressive government, and excessive taxation with the Obama Administration are truly disturbing.

High time We the People tell our modern day King George, Barack Husain Obama, what for and send his happy ass packing back to Chicago, Hawaii, Jakarta, Moscow, Beijing, Mecca, Tehran or wherever he can openly and without shame pursue his own personal version of the Declaration of Independence.

Happy 235th birthday Uncle Sammy and happy trails Mr. President. May you and your Marxist/Socialist comrades go in peace with the blessings of the all powerful and benevolent Allah.

I am, “American by Birth and Southern by the Grace of God”

Ron W. Garikes