April 15, 2009

Thoughts of Obama from Bama

Week Twelve – Water Dog

“I see you clinging to the cottonwood trunk You lose your grip, fall off and hit the ground, clunk Water dog, water dog The water got high and left you high and dry, water dog”

The Late, Great,” King of the Road”, Roger Miller

There is a widely held belief that dog owners often share physical and behavioral characteristics with their darlin little pooches. Many notable owner- pet relationships support this phenomenon, especially those among some of our most powerful political leaders. A few of the most high profile examples include:



Hillary and her two pet bulldogs, Monica and Slick Willie. Bulldogs, known for their tenacity, persistence, and loyalty, all traits Mrs. Clinton has stoically exemplified throughout her political career. Rumor also has it she frequently goes home and kicks hell out of them after a bad day at the office kissing up to foreign despots, rogue nuclear nations and dodging enemy sniper fire.

Our next example, Madame Speaker of the House, Nancy San Francisco Socialist Pelosi, and her pet poodle, Carl Marx. Poodles are widely reputed to be the most conniving, pretentious, manipulative, and untrustworthy breeds of the canine world, especially the bitch of the species. The physical resemblance is also truly uncanny.

The Vice President and his pet Weimaraner, Plagiarizer, share many similar traits. Well groomed but with a tendency to frequently yap and bark loudly for no apparent reason. The Weimaraner is also blessed with great dexterity and is often observed placing all four paws in its gapping jaws at the same time. A rare talent the VEEP also frequently displays.

Barney, Freddie in the Fannie Mac, Frank, our esteemed Chair of the House Finance Committee, shares extraordinary similarities with his little pug AIG. A gift from the recently bailed out addicted to huge bonus pay outs insurance conglomerate. Little AIG like most Pugs is loyal and lovable to family and friends but capable of truly mischievous and even devious behavior if not closely monitored. The breed also tends to bark/yap with a distinct lisp and blame all the other dogs for their misdeeds and bad behavior.

Billed by the main stream, pointy headed, left wing media elite as a major event for this White House, the First Family are now proud new owners of a Portuguese Water Dog puppy. Christened Bo, short for Bolshevik, the similarities between the new First Pooch and the President, especially if our previous examples are any indication, may just possibly reveal some closely held secrets about our fearless leader’s true personality and character.

Physically they have a lot in common both being lean, dark, handsome and athletic. Temperamentally, the Portuguese Water Dog is an animal of spirited disposition, self-willed, brave, and very resistant to fatigue. They also tend to be dogs of exceptional intelligence and a loyal companion. All certainly characteristics and attributes we would hope for and welcome in a President.

On the other hand, the Water Dog is often vicious and demonstrates a strong hankering for unsound and unsavory behavior. It tends to obey it’s owner with facility and apparent pleasure and is obedient with those who look after it. Attributes we have all witnessed the “Yes We Can Break Every Campaign Promise With Impunity as Our Comrades in the Left Wing Press Surely Won’t Hold Us Responsible” crowd arrogantly demonstrate on a regular basis.

And as for being obedient with those who look after him, the leader of the free world has already shown a great beholding to radical left wing ideologues, (George Soros, Jimmy “Peanut” Carter, Ted “The lady killer, literally” Kennedy and George Clooney) and fringe organizations including the likes of ACORN, Code Pink and NAG.

The Water Dog is also world renown for empty, long winded, meaningless and misleading barking; hanging with unsavory, communist leaning dogs of questionable character; a member of the blame America’s dogs first crowd; an appeaser and apologizer of unparalleled caliber; and a great admirer with a strong attraction to French Bulldogs and Mexican Chihuahuas; at least so I’ve been told.

Week Twelve of the “Change You Can Believe In Like Appointing Another Tax Cheat and Extremist Abortion Advocate for HHS Secretary” ended in a truly shocking but definitely encouraging fashion with the President actually showing a little backbone in resolving a relatively small but symbolically significant foreign affairs conflict. By authorizing lethal force to save Captain Richard Phillips of the Maersk Alabama who had been held hostage by Somalian pirates after negotiating a trade of his incarceration for his crews’ release the President demonstrated the ability to act deliberately, decisively and with a measured response to a difficult situation.

Let’s hope this type of behavior is infectious and will be more frequently pursued when dealing with the so called moderate members of the Taliban, enemy combatants housed at Gitmo, criminal illegal aliens and in our ongoing Global War on Terror.

As for the President’s Overseas Contingency Operations, maybe the Commander in Chief himself along with his fellow West Wing and State Department Ivey league pacifist will take up arms and lead the charge since it really isn’t a shooting and killing war anymore since the president personally downgraded this conflict to a Contingency Operation. Sure hope they informed the Islamic Jihadist of this minor change in policy so they have a ample time to change their signs and propaganda slogans from “Kill the Running Dog, Infidel, Great Satin, American Imperialist Swine in their Global War on Terror to Overseas Contingency Operation”. Sure as hell probably won’t slow down their cowardly acts of terrorism but at least they might sound and look more PC when cutting innocent westerners’ and Europeans’ heads off on Al Jaheera TV.

Having not made a formal appearance on national TV in the last 24 hours, the president made yet another of what seems like 100’s of made for TV events on Tuesday hard selling we the people once again on his almost 4 trillion dollar socialist takeover of our free market, free enterprise economy. Spouting the same old blame W, extreme crisis sky is falling warning, playing the victim card, taking full credit for the few and far between economic glimmers of hope and proclaiming his false truth that our recovery is solely dependent and contingent upon the implementation of his visionary policies:

1. Dr. Obama’s, MD, nationalized, socialized, government controlled healthcare program
2. Great Environmental Scientist and Ghost author Obama of Al Gore’s “Inconvenient Truth” green energy policy and climate control Thought and Compliance Police Enforcement Initiatives
3. Professor Obama’s new age of enlightenment Education Plan using the progressive teaching principals and techniques created by Obama confidant and world famous educator, domestic terrorist and pipe bomber Bill Ayers

“I say one, two, three, six, seven, nineteen You beat any dad gum thing I ever seen Water dog, water dog The water got high and left you high and dry, water dog”

Roger Miller

Bolshevik the Portuguese Water Dog will hopefully bring great joy and blessings to the first family during their time in the White House (hopefully ending abruptly and in a landslide in 2012) and for many additional years as the Ex. President lives happily in exile in Cuba, Venezuela or possibly even the motherland, Communist Russia or Socialist France. In the mean time let’s hope he acquires Bo’s socially and political redeeming qualities and doesn’t leave We the People “…high and dry, water dog”

I am, “American by Birth and Southern by the Grace of God”

Ron W. Garikes