Thoughts of Obama from Bama

Week Fourteen –New CIA Torture Photos Prove W’s Guilt!

“It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians”.

Henrik Ibsen

In a major scoop “Thoughts of Obama from Bama” has obtained classified CIA photos and support documentation indisputably placing W and his administration smack dab in the middle of the enemy combatant torture controversy. This evidence proves beyond a shadow of a doubt the Bush Administration’s unlawful policies and use of cruel, inhumane, and unspeakable horrifying forms of torture on Jihadist warriors being illegally detained by Uncle Sammy.

In total disregard to the US Constitution, Bill of Rights, UN and Geneva Convention as well as protest from the French, ACLU, and the patriots at Code Pink and ACORN W and his jackbooted “Secret Army” went mid-evil on 100’s of innocent victims of our Overseas Contingency Operations.

In their criminal efforts to obtain intelligence from this unlawfully detained Islamic guests of our country the Bush/Cheney Administration’s war crimes have provided fodder for terrorists worldwide especially in support of their fundraising and recruitment activities.

As horrific, repulsive and appalling as these criminal acts of torture are “Thoughts of Obama from Bama” feels obligated and compelled to publish this information in the spirit of the public’s right to know. Hopefully by shinning a light on this travesty of justice future administrations will never again so flagrantly or arrogantly abuse the power entrusted to them by We the People.

Dastardly and sadistic methods of torture uncovered by our investigation that greatly exceed the concept of so called advanced interrogation techniques have included the use of mind altering drugs that effectively brainwash any aspiring young suicide bomber/martyr into believing their reward of 70 virgins awaiting them in heaven will all look like Madeline Albright or Janet Reno. This technique was so successful would be Jihadist martyrs were known to start healthy diets and exercise regimes in an effort to prolong their lives here on earth to postpone the possibility of this dreadful fate for as long as possible.

Sleep deprivation was also extensively used with a new sadistic twist sure to soften up the most fanatical of Islamic extremist. After being kept up for up to 48 hours victims of this most vicious forms of torture were allowed to fall into a deep slumber only to be rudely awakened by surround sound Rap music and images of Hillary Clinton, Helen Thomas, Maxine Waters, Barbara Boxer, Joy Behar and Madame Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, flashing before their eyes

In many cases recipients of this method took to gouging out their own eyes and puncturing their eardrums to eliminate any possibility of ever experiencing such inhumane treatment again.

For some of the most obstinate sons of Muhammad a more personal touch was required. These falsely accused men of Arab accent were condemned to spend 24 hours alone in a 10x10 cell with the likes of Michael Jackson, who is just downright creepy, especially when adorning one glove for no apparent reason and accompanied by his pet chimp; Janeane Garofalo, babbling on endlessly about innate leftwing, socialist dogma, using racist hate speech with great venom but not one iota of logic or reason; Rosie O’Donnell, the poster child of ignorant, loudmouth celebrities, who in most instances are better seen than heard, unfortunately neither of which applies in Rosie’s case. Her antics as frequently displayed during her stint on “The View” proved especially difficult for the detainees to cope with compelling several to blow themselves up to take their chances with Albright and Reno in the afterlife; The infamous Michael Moore who has produced several socialist/communist works of fiction he has labeled as documentaries was recruited to indoctrinate the captives in the fine art of consuming a dozen cream filled Krispy Cream doughnuts at one sitting. Witnessing this grotesque spectacle made several observers convert to veganism and into American sympathizers and informers on the spot;

Those strong willed few who didn’t succumb to the agony of prolonged one on one interaction with one or more of the previously mentioned interrogators were subjected to listening to Al Gore reading his fictional novel, “An Inconvenient Truth” while strapped to a chair and jolted with a “green” powered cattle prod for each unauthorized carbon emission.

Even after this unprecedented barrage of terror, torture and illegal criminal acts perpetrated by the Bush/Cheney storm troopers several falsely accused enemy combatant detainees held steadfast and refused to spill the beans about their alleged terrorist activities. For this small group of Jihadist hard cases the evil Bush/Cheney torture apparatus had reserved the most cruel and unusual of punishment and torture to turn these most dangerous and fanatical holdouts.

Forced to play Nekked, (Most of y’all have heard this one, naked means you ain’t got any cloths on. Nekked means you ain’t got any clothes on and you are up to something) Blindfolded, Pin the Tail on the Camel with Barney “Freddie in the Fannie Mac” Frank the remaining holdouts folded like a cheap lawn chair after one game with the competitive, combative, and as most described as frisky, Frank. A few were so moved by the experience they signed allegiance to America Oaths and volunteered to seek out and destroy members of al Qaeda as long as we swore to never expose them, under any circumstances, to Barney and his camel ever again.

One last form of illegal torture secretly ordered by W that initially showed great promise but resulted in unforeseen and to some extent counterproductive outcomes was locking up Abdul in a small container and dropping in a tiny visitor of the insect variety to keep the poor soul company. The hope was that after being left alone a few hours with his new, what was thought to be harmless, little friend he might be more forthcoming with information that might prove to be of value in what was once know as our War on Terror. If only our interrogators had know that a dung beetle can eat up to 10 thousand times of its own body weight of dung in a couple of hours they surely would have avoided using this approach.

After returning from a long lunch ready for 12 -14 hours of inflicting unlawful criminal interrogations on mostly innocent, moderate members of the Taliban all that was left of Omar Mohamed Mohamed Mohamed Mohamed Mohamed Mohamed “the Ground to Air Missile Maker” Salem was a small pile of dust, a diaper/turban like piece of clothing that seems to be the well dressed terrorist preferred choice of head ware, and a small but bloated dung beetle, fuller than a tick, fat and happy sleeping in the corner. Maybe a lost intelligence gathering opportunity but an honest mistake they only repeated a dozen or so more times while their small inventory of dung beetles lasted.

The evidence is unequivocally clear, The Bush/Cheney Administration is guilty, guilty of effectively executing a successful war against lunatic, Islamic Jihadist hell bent on systematically destroying our free and democratic way of life. Their use of enhanced interrogation techniques was constitutional, legal, appropriate and most important of all, successful.

On the other hand, President Obama is also guilty, guilty of weakening our great nation by advocating a foreign policy of apology, appeasement, and blame America first. Releasing Top Secret confidential CIA documents compromising our intelligence capabilities and putting our troops and citizens at greater risk comes within a frog hair of making our new Commander and Chief also guilty of providing aid and comfort to the enemy.

Maybe the President could use 24 hours alone in a room with Rosie, Michael Moore, and/or Janeane Garofalo to help him realize the error of his ways. Definitely cruel and unusual punishment, enhanced interrogation techniques on steroids, but certainly justified during these most dangerous and challenging of times.

I am, “American by Birth and Southern by the Grace of God”

Ron W. Garikes